Tata Ulla a Life

The cast: Jose Munguia, Emilia Astiazaran, Julia Munguia. Jose and Emilia marry in Hermosillo, Sonora. Emilia gives birth to Julia. The family moves to Nogales, Arizona. Jose opens a feedstore, Emilia keeps the house, and Julia watches from the wings.

The routine and cadence of domestic life sets in. Each spouse revealing personality quirks and character flaws missed or ignored during courtship. Emilia begins to "let herself go" and Jose slides into inattentiveness. Emilia and the kids spend more time with Emilia's mother, and Jose alternates between the cantinas and the brothels lining Canal Street.

One Sunday morning, as was his custom, Jose sat down at the kitchen table, his back to Emilia preparing breakfast. No morning greeting, no embrace, silent and impatient, sitting, hands clasped on the table, waiting. The man of the house was ready for his breakfast.

Given his bad habits, any number of maladies might have eventually taken Jose. Still, on that particular Sunday morning, his breakfast served, Jose's litany of complaints began: last night's dinner--cold, the ironing--wrinkles, the mother-in-law, and on and on. Standing at the stove, head bowed, sobbing, the knot in her chest began to unravel--grabbing the cast iron skillet, Emilia walked up behind Jose and, with several well-placed blows, crushed his skull.

Other methods Emilia might have employed included firearms, stabbing, or poisoning, but in the heat of the moment, the skillet did the trick. This method of murdering the man of the house fell under the "bludgeoning" category. However, no subcategory such as "bludgeoning-cookware" seems to exist. It is possible that once reported in the media, this method may have resulted in other copycat "bludgeoning-by-skillet" murders. We will never know.

Her defense: momentary insanity, triggered by years of emotional abuse, infidelity, and a case of gonorrhea. She was sentenced to 10 to 15 years in the women's correctional facility. The sixteen-year-old Julia became Aunt Leona's obligation -- reluctant, unloving, shrewish Leona, and Manuel, her alcoholic husband.

Gloom hung over that household like a veil, strengthening Julia's resolve to escape.

Carnival's in town!

Opportunity arrived when the Barkley Brothers Carnival came to town. Julia and the Valentino who ran the ball and cork concession made eyes at each other, and by the time the carnival headed out of town, Julia and the ball-and-cork guy were on their way. Months later, pregnant and abandoned in Intercourse, PA, Julia wandered into the Intercourse United Methodist Church to plan her next move.

What you have just read is mostly fiction, an experiment of sorts: tales of woe, scandal, and misfortune seem to draw people in. I might pick up the story later if you find the approach amusing.

/The Real Story

Now, on to the real story of my Aunt Julia, resuming where I left off with my "Happy Birthday Tata Ulla" blog... What follows are a few recollections of my Aunt Julia, moments I experienced at various times during my childhood, adolescence, and beyond. I don't claim to have known her innermost self--not sure anyone knew that Julia.

Five foot-six, slight build, conservative dress, always pressed and clean, dark brown, wavy, shoulder-length hair, brushed back, and unadorned her entire working life. She was a "peluda"--hairy legs and underarms. I never knew if she was rebelling against the latest fashion trend or simply oblivious to the changes taking shape around her. Whatever the reason, she was frozen in time, comfortable in her portrayal of Julia Munguia.

/Nogales, Arizona

1940 census: 5,135, 1950 census: 6,153,1960 census: 7,286 souls. Nogales, Sonora, Mexico: ~40,000 citizens, a figure that I remember hearing, but do not have any data to support that number--all I know is that there were a lot more folks "across the line."

To the North, Tucson, Arizona, was "far away," 60+ miles on a two-lane highway, a place reserved for special trips. Except for Aunt Emilia and Uncle Jimmy (Chicago), Julia, two sisters, and a brother were never more than a 5-minute drive from one another. Life revolved around Sunday visits with the grandparents, baptisms-confirmations-birthdays and the usual holiday get-togethers. Not married and otherwise "not attached" in a culture where young women were assumed to be courting, eventually marrying, and eventually mothers meant a form of isolation, an empty home, and dwindling romantic prospects.

/Sunday Mass

1950s: Sundays. Dodge sedan. Sacred Heart Church. 9 AM mass. My brother, sister, and I would pile into Tata Ulla's Dodge on our way to 9 o'clock mass, where we endured an hour-long ritual recited in Latin that included a fire-and-brimstone sermon. Our carrot-at-the-end-of-a-stick was breakfast at Sunderman's for pancakes and chocolate milk, followed by a spin around town and then, all sugared up, delivered us home.

/School secretary

Young women of Julia's generation never considered or were discouraged from pursuing college. I don't believe it was ever a family topic. Instead, by the time girls graduated from Nogales High School, they were either pregnant and expected to marry, courting and soon to marry, or saving themselves for Prince Charming. I always felt that Julia was looking for a different kind of prince, someone other than the pool of Caballeros she knew, and most of the Caballeros were not in the market for a strong-willed, independent woman. Machismo reigned.

Consequently, unless female graduates left Nogales, they took whatever job they could find: city, county, federal government, or produce company--office receptionist and secretarial positions were the most likely options. Julia was working as a bank clerk when she was spotted by the school superintendent and hired as his office's administrative assistant/secretary. She went from school to bank to the superintendent's office, which sat directly across the street from her graduating high school. It was to be the second and the last job she ever held.

In that role, she was the office's public face--every teacher, student, parent, or visitor who walked through that door was met by Miss Munguia: greeter, translator, problem-solver, and gatekeeper. She became a fixture in the school system, placing her indelible stamp on the office for 30+ years. She knew the students, their families, and their stories, known and greeted by them at church, the grocery store, or on the street.

It was a safe, predictable, and relatively stress-free job. A cocoon where life was lived within a 5-minute drive to anywhere in town; usually traveled from home to 6 o'clock mass, back home, then the office, then home again, with occasional side trips to visit family, get groceries, or shop downtown.

Nogales' 1940s "downtown" was Morley Avenue, bordered on the South by a

chainlink fence and a port of entry (garita) that separated Nogales, Arizona, from Nogales, Sonora, and bordered four blocks to the North by the county courthouse. In between lay the Valley Bank, Capin's, Woolworths, Kress, Walgreens, Cinderella, Brackers, Pennys, the town placita, a theatre, and several other small businesses sandwiched in between.

I lost track after graduating high school: Tucson/college, falling in love, marrying, husband-and-wife-ing, film school, two children, Colorado, photo studio/art gallery-- there wasn't much time for keeping up with Julia. My guess is that not much changed in her clockwork and obsessive-compulsive lifestyle: Monday through Friday: morning mass, work, home; Saturday afternoon shampoo and bobby pins, laundry; Sunday morning mass, Sunday PM, Andy Rooney, interspersed with family visits. Repeat.

Eventually, the rhythm of her life began to fall apart: her father, José María Román Hilarión Munguía García, 85, passed away in 1969, followed by her mother, Emilia Munguia Astiazaran, 91, in 1976, each died at home, each cared for by their dutiful daughter, who, at 55 found herself unbound and alone.

In 2022, women living alone made up about 16% of all households, while men living alone accounted for about 13%. Whether by choice or by circumstance, the share of people living alone has increased every decade. The most significant increase happened between 1970 and 1980.

As of 2018, among older Hispanic Americans:

. . 52% were married, 22% widowed, 13% divorced

. . 6% separated (including married, spouse absent), and

. . 8% had never been married.

. . 27% of Hispanic women aged 65 and older lived alone

As of 2024, there were approximately 38.5 million one-person households in the United States, accounting for 29% of all U.S. households. more...

As of January 14, 2025, there are an estimated 341,198,407 U.S. inhabitants. Of these:

. . 17.7%, 65 years and older

. . 19.5% of the total population are Hispanic or Latino - 50.5% women

More to follow in a future blog...